One of my greatest spiritual challenges… has been a physical: Constructing an environment in which to create… to imagine… and to work.
I have memory after memory on Facebook that reminds me, my quest for organization and for crafting a space that’s usable for my artistic and witchy aims has been a challenge for over a decade.
This year… I’ve admitted I am a hoarder of treasures… that my dragon-like tendencies MUST be addressed. For months… I’ve wrestled with the anxiety and the frustration of too much stuff for the space I have. What kinda of stuff have I piled into my vast hoard?
Art supplies… trinkets… and seemingly random items which seemed to need a home.
I felt responsible for the items in my hoard – that I must hold them and maintain them because they might otherwise be lost and unloved. Problem was… I was suffocating spiritually and physically I was creating very real obstacles to my ability to bring my ideas to life.
Without physical space… I couldn’t craft… create… and produce the ideas, the spirits, that were screaming to be born!
So… for months… I’ve been pushing through my discomfort – physical and emotional – to work towards realizing a space which I can manifest all the magick sitting dormant in my soul.
I learned to loosen my grip on all of the things. I purged things. I dragged things to a friend’s house to sort through. I found some freedom in this activity instead of the fear of being without what I needed.
How to arrange the room… what furnishings… how much to keep for which projects continued to challenge me.
Then, recently, I awoke on the couch in the living room one morning (because there was no space to sleep in my own room) with a furniture change that would bring alignment to our familial living space by moving another desk into my room. I honestly thought I was crazy to even try… while the idea would fix the common area of our home it certainly would only create more problems in my room.
That day… with motivation I never expected… I moved the furniture despite my fears of wasted time and effort. I moved the desk into my room where I thought it would physically fit… but obstruct my ability to actually get the room in order.
I have a 10′ x 10′ room – 100 square feet – which needs to serve me in multiple ways:
It was pointed out to me by my fantastic mentor, Cyndi Brannen, that perhaps my priorities were out of whack. Sleep is essential to human functioning and it was last on the list of all the ways I wanted my space to work. Point taken.
I laid claim to a folding cot that the Fam was considering parting with. This would fulfill the requirement for a solo sleeping space without resorting to the couch (even if that occasionally brought epiphanies) AND it wouldn’t take up much space when not in use.
Still there was a small bookshelf and all the witchy supplies to deal with.
Tonight, as I dove back into the space creation project uncertain how I was going to fix it… I realized the small bookshelf would fit on the old desk (picture above).
Finally! All the furniture elements are in place… I can sort through the supplies. I sit, writing this, with the wonderful privilege of nearly having a functional space to create and work in. I’m enjoying discovering the supplies I want to keep… and what else can be released.
It might be a chaotic mess in this moment… yet, the outcome is tangible, believable, and becoming!
I’m so close to the functional multi-faceted sacred space of my dreams! I will push forward and manifest what I need. I’m a witch and my will be done!